The Traffic Light System
A Kink Friendly communication system that embraces freedom
An important part of anyone’s sex life is communication.
In times of impulsivity and rawness it’s easy to go non verbal. You know, the passion is raging through your veins and you can’t even think straight in this situation.
Having a communication system that is succinct and direct really helps.
It gives space for movement within the scene / time.
The Traffic Light System.
Vanilla or not.
Try it !
I’m a big advocate for the Traffic Light System as it creates an environment to play within by setting boundaries in a clear and simple way.
The problem with ‘safety words’ is that it’s essentially a RED light system.
If you have to use the safety word, the damage is already done.
With the traffic light system an environment of space is created. A dominant knows where the boundaries are. Not meaning to suddenly over step them, yet informed enough to push if needed.
It’s a system to clearly state your presence within a ‘scene’ without having to exit it.
Let me explain that.
Thinking about how a scene may play out between two individuals during an couple of hours play, you can see the most of the play is within the GREEN section, yet the very nature of Kink will mean that humans will explore and discover within the ORANGE.
Care is still taken not to RED line, yet that’s also where the fun and growth is. At the boundary ( dotted line ).
We will grow in our tastes over time. Such is the nature of Kink.
If we all play within safety this is important, yet it’s not always exciting. Having a communication system which can communicate quickly our consent / comfort levels means play is kept – human.
It’s inevitable that the ORANGE / RED now, isn’t the ORANGE / RED from 6 months ago. This can be due to the amount of time spent with a play partner, or just self discovery and an expansion of ones boundaries.
When a play partner is in a GREEN state that doesn’t necessarily mean that you move forward. A dominant may choose to ‘tease‘ a submissive, knowing a space is safe to do so.
It’s far easier to speak a colour and not disrupt a scene, rather than dominant breaking to speak out of character to enquire on your presence within a scene.
I speak about this in more detail in my video here.